How to Deal With Difficult People Part 2 - The Bully

Sixty-four year old Bill was a married retired executive who sought anger management help on the insistence of his wife Ann.

After 24 years Ann could no longer tolerate his bullying behavior toward her, their children, and their friends. He would often relate in an insulting, "get in your face" way using a loud, intimidating voice that frightened her.

She often felt like a little girl who was being scolded. He gave her orders with no thought for her feelings or how others were reacting to his behavior. If he did not get his own way, he would often pout or withhold needed finances from her.

Tactics Of The Adult Bully

As this case illustrates, emotional bullying occurs when someone tries to gain control by making others feel angry or afraid. It is often characterized by yelling, name-calling, sarcasm, mocking, putting down, belittling, embarrassing or intimidating. Ann said that they had no friends because of Bill's behavior. He was forced into early retirement by his company due to alienation of upper management.

Bullies Often Have Personality Disorder

Like many bullies, Bill had a deep sense of insecurity about himself. He completely lacked empathy or the ability to perceive how he was negatively affecting others.

He honestly didn't see himself as the problem and was constantly in dismay when others around him were devastated or offended by his behavior. Bill had what is known as a "narcissistic" personality disorder. He was only capable of interpreting events from his perspective. Pre-occupied with himself , he had little regard or understanding of the feelings of others.

Can Bullies Change?

While research shows that most bullies are unable to make deep changes to their personality, they are sometimes able to modify their behavior to the extent that they are more tolerable. Usually, the motivation to change is inspired by outside influences such as employers, spouses, or children. Bill, for instance, desperately wanted his wife back as he truly loved her to the extent he was able to experience love. Other bullies we have seen in anger management classes decided to change at the threat of losing their job. Jim, a line supervisor in a chemical plant, fell into this category.

The Case of Jim

An "old-school" manager, Jim often yelled and threatened employees to motivate them to produce more, thinking his behavior would be seen as positive by the company executives.

Unfortunately, too many employees complained, resulting in his being referred to Human Resources for intervention. Turns out, Jim didn't want to be seen as a bully, had no awareness others were seeing him that way, and most certainly didn't want to lose his job of over 25 years.

Thus, he was highly motivated to acquire more effective skills to relate to employees while still maintaining a high rate of production.

He did well in anger management as he learned our tools of anger control- particularly the tool of "empathy" which includes increased social awareness (seeing how he is coming across to others) as well as more sensitivity to the feelings of others.

Unfortunately, not all bullies are as responsive to intervention as Jim was. Many bullies remain bullies because they don't see themselves as the problem. In this case, you may have to learn how to cope with their behavior, if you are in an unfortunate situation such that you need to continue to be with them but survive.

Four Ways To Cope

* Focus on the positive attributes of the bully and try to ignore the negative parts. For instance, Bill had a very sweet and generous side to him when not being a bully - a side Ann could learn to focus on to survive the unpleasant times.

* Be confident and look your bully in the eye. Speak in a calm and clear voice while asserting yourself by naming the behavior you don't like and state what is expected instead.

* Create a distraction or change the subject. Try using humor or a well chosen word to disarm the bully.

* Give the bully's ego what it needs. For instance, Ann learned to praise Bill more and give him more credit and acknowledgement for things he did do well. While this tactic is a little manipulatory, it nevertheless worked well to decrease the number of times Bill bullied her. And it allowed Ann to survive a difficult situation.

2005 © Dr. Tony Fiore All rights reserved.

Feng Shui Don'ts

These are a list of Feng Shui no-nos that may be put into consideration when undergoing interior decorating. These tips will help you avoid pitfalls and negative energy from entering one's home.

If you are a career person, your work desk shouldn't be directly in line with a door, or under a beam. You will be in the line of Sha, or bad Qi this way! Do reposition your desk. If this is not a feasible option for you, place a potted plant in front of your table to soften the blow.

For the bedroom, Yang colors such as red, orange and bright yellows are simply not good for you since the too-active colors will keep you up, or give you with listless, unrefreshing sleep! Try to incorporate relaxing and subtle colors instead. Dragon images are also not a good idea for the bedroom.

Wooden overhead beams on ceilings in the home are very inauspicious, especially if you sleep below them! If removing them is not an option, hang auspicious items such as a faceted crystal above you. This will 'soften' the negative Qi and make it safe for you.

Don't install any water features (aquariums, fountains and the like) in bedrooms! This is considered very unlucky. Spiky plants such as cacti in sleeping areas are also a Feng Shui no-no. On second thought, keep cacti and bonsai plants away from your home interior or office entirely!

If your front door is right below the stairs in your home, this is inauspicious since bad Qi can collect in this area. Try relocating your main door to another spot, or simply place a lovely potted plant at the stair area.

Miniature ships are wonderful symbols of wealth attainment, but do remember to point the mast towards the interior of your home and not facing a door or window. This may lead to your wealth 'sailing' away! This goes the same for your chan chu, or Money Toad too. Don't direct its head towards a window or door - keep it nosed towards the home.

When you make a purchase of crystals for Feng Shui or healing purposes, do not immediately put them to use - remember to cleanse them for the best usage. Cleansing a crystal is easy, simply submerge your crystals in a basin of distilled water overnight and you're set! I have found that this is infinitely easier (and more fuss-free) than procuring seawater or sea salts for this purpose.

Don't place your Buddha statues in the kitchen or bedroom. The best places are the dining room, lounge or living room - basically, areas where family or friends converge. Don't place your Buddha on the floor, but place it on an elevated area!

No fireplace or lampshades in the Southeast or West location for year 2006. This is because these particular areas are currently housing the ever-malignant stars #2 Black and #5 Yellow, and the Fire element will only strengthen these stars' negative influences. If removal of the Fire element influence is not possible, heavily decorate these areas with Yang natured Metal cures, such as brass dragons or deities to weaken the Earth element of this area.

A staircase right in the middle of the home is a huge Feng Shui no-no because a 'missing' central location of the home spells bad Feng Shui.

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About Abdominal Asbestos Mesothelioma

Mesothelioma is a kind of cancer that affects the mesothelium. The mesothelium is a layer of membrane that is very thin and it protects almost all the internal organs inside our body. Mesothelioma has been connected with the fibrous mineral, asbestos that has used in construction for years. In fact, most cases of mesothelioma are always connected with prior contact with the mineral.

In asbestos mesothelioma, cancerous cells affect the mesothelial layer that is present in the chest cavity called the pleura and the lungs. There are some cases where the cancer has also occurred in the peritoneum, or the lining present in the abdominal cavity and the pericardium, which is the membrane sac that is around the heart.

Abdominal asbestos mesothelioma occurs in the peritoneum. People with this condition may have come into contact with asbestos and worked in areas where it has been present. This exposure to asbestos may occur in different forms. A worker while working may inhale the fibers of asbestos while on duty. A person who may not be a worker may also be exposed to asbestos by various other means. A person who washes the clothes of a worker who is exposed to asbestos directly may also be prone to abdominal asbestos mesothelioma.

A survey has shown that out of every seven people exposed to asbestos, one is likely to develop asbestos related cancer that may include abdominal asbestos mesothelioma.

There are various signs and symptoms that are related to abdominal asbestos mesothelioma. But one common problem the doctors often face when it comes to diagnosing it is that the symptoms are very difficult to identify. The signs are not noticeable till about twenty to fifty years after a person has been exposed to asbestos. The symptoms vary and are dependent on various factors, like the particular type of mesothelioma a person is afflicted with and the length of time that he has been exposed to asbestos.

The symptoms that are related to abdominal asbestos mesothelioma include cachexia which is a condition in which a person loses a lot of weight, experiences tiredness, anorexia and atrophy. The abdomen gets swollen which is a result of excessive fluids in the cavity of the abdomen. If this cancer is in a very advanced stage, pain is caused because of the buildup.

A person could also have symptoms like fever, anemia, blood clotting abnormalities and the bowels getting obstructed. If the cancer spreads to the other organs, the patient will also suffer from swelling of the face and neck and could have a lot of trouble swallowing.

Abdominal asbestos mesothelioma is fatal. The treatment methods that are available today are only partly successful. Doctors combine chemotherapy, radiation, immunotherapy and surgery. Other kinds of treatment that are related to abdominal asbestos mesothelioma are mainly for the relief of the symptoms rather than an actual cure. A procedure that is called heated intraoperative intraperitoneal chemotherapy helps in the prevention of the development of this cancer by trying to remove as much of the tumor as possible from the patient.

How to Start a Franchise

Franchising Information

Franchise opportunities are all around us today. You may pop into Starbucks for coffee and then head for lunch at MacDonalds before returning home and ordering your dinner from another local franchise, Pizza Hut. Many of the most popular outlets you visit may be franchises as they offer the security of a brand name and the attraction of starting your own business.

The world of Franchise is certainly complex but many people are now seriously looking at starting a franchise as they look to leave their routine day jobs and embark on an exciting business opportunity and run their own business. Indeed many franchise fairs and seminars are now the perfect location to meet franchise experts and discuss funding and business plans to determine what type of niche you may quickly recoup your investment with.

Selecting the correct franchise opportunity is vital and you should research the company history and seek advice from current franchise owners before making important decisions. Many franchise opportunities allow you a great degree of freedom with your marketing and advertising, however many others have trademark guidelines and company policies which you must be aware of before launching a promotion.

Joining your local chamber of commerce or business club is a good first step as many business owners have experience in the franchise industry and also have a great network of contacts that could give your franchise business a great head start. Your local business enterprise will also be able to help you formulate a business plan and budget as well as possibly providing a small grant for start up costs.

Starting your own franchise has never been easier and you could even lead you on the road to becoming a multi franchise where you also recruit others to join your network.

6 Necessary Backpacking Supplies You Must Have For Your Backpacking Adventures

1. The first item you must purchase is a backpack. The backpack will be the container to carry the necessary items you will need for your adventure. Choose a backpack that is large enough for a multiple day excursion. It must be comfortable and fit securely to your body and shoulders. I suggest you load your selection in the store with items heavy enough to make sure the backpack is comfortable.

2. The next important item before you begin your adventure is to purchase a tent. This will be your portable shelter from the elements, especially if your trek is in wet or cold weather. It is imperative you sleep warm and dry at night. Select a lightweight tent rated for cold weather. If you go backpacking with a partner, your tent selection must be large enough for two.

3. Selection of a sleeping bag is the next most important purchase. In order to keep warm in your tent, sleeping on a thick, down filled sleeping bag made of synthetic material with a temperature rating of -10 degrees Fahrenheit. This selection for a sleeping bag will keep you warm.

4. Clothing is the next important selection. You must be able to keep warm is backpacking during colder weather. During cold weather, you should were thermal under clothing with breathable outer layers ending with waterproof clothing to keep you dry in wet weather. Also wear a warm head gear and carry gloves to keep your hands warm.

5. Another extremely important item is your selection of hiking boots. Boots are very important to protect your feet as you trek over rough terrain. Make sure your selection of boots is waterproof to keep your feet dry and comfortable. When you make your selection, you want your boots to be durable so you will not need to replace every year or so.

6. Last, but not least, is buying a backpacking stove. A stove will provide you with warm food and drink. Depending where you backpack, many parks and forests prohibit building wood fires. You definitely do not want to run the risk of accidentally starting a forest fire. Be sure to consider pots and pans and cooking and eating utensils. Carry either bottled water or a water filtration system.

Good luck and have fun on your backpacking adventures.

Nutraceutical Sciences - What Are They?

Understanding the technical jargon that is used by some industries can often be quite difficult for a lay person however this doesn't mean that intrinsically they are hard to understand. The food supplement industry alongside other forms of similar products are collectively known in industry as the nutraceutical sciences, the etymology of which stems from two base words in the English language; nutrient and pharmaceutical.

Nutraceutical sciences are primarily concerned with what is often billed as a 'grey' area in international regulatory circles. This area of industry creates food supplements and anything that is taken as food to contribute to a person's diet, but which has been scientifically prepared to provide specific benefits based on laboratory research.

For example, cod liver oil has known benefits for persons who are lacking in Vitamin A and Vitamin D, whilst providing excellent levels of omega -3 fatty acids. Whilst these are all compounds that can be found in everyday foods, they are included in one product (cod liver oil) that is either concentrated and packaged in easily digestible form by nutraceutical manufacturers. This means that the person taking the product will achieve a high concentration dose of the essential compounds that could help them with their condition.

Other examples of products that are made by the nutraceutical sciences can include body-building supplements, bath and personal care, sexual health and sports nutrition. There are also many other categories of products and for most people, daily contact and even use of products manufactured by the nutraceutical sciences industry is normal in the modern Western world.

The West's obsession with the products that the nutraceutical sciences produce goes someway to understanding their success however, their use in the West is dependent on other forces such as marketing and public awareness of ailments, illnesses and the reasons behind them. This is never truer than today when scientific knowledge helps guide the industry into helping keep people healthier and living longer.

3 Simple Steps To Make Money With Google Advertising

In today's turbulent economy, just about everyone is looking for easy ways to make some extra cash. Maybe you just need a couple hundred extra dollars to make ends meet at the end of the month. Or maybe you're hoping to find a way to have a little extra to throw around as "fun money." Perhaps you can't stand your current job, and you're desperately looking for a way out. The even less fortunate are among the thousands of unemployed and displaced workers in America today, searching for any means to make a decent living again.

No matter which of these categories you happen to fall into or even if you have your own, totally unique reasons you have found a solution to your dilemma by exploring the many opportunities available via the online business world. If you are new to internet marketing, it's possible that you find all the information available to be a little confusing. But there's no need for you to be intimidated as you take your first steps into this exciting world of cyber business when you break the process down into smaller, more manageable pieces. On that note, let's get you off to a running start with these 3 simple steps to make money online with Google advertising.

1) Find Your Passion

Seriously...the options which lie before you as you begin your internet marketing venture are virtually endless, so you may as well place the focus of your business into an area you enjoy, or, better yet, are truly passionate about. So, what do you absolutely love to do? Do you love to golf? Ski? Climb mountains? Garden? Skateboard? Cook? Are you really good at finding the best deals for your family vacations? Do you read a lot of books? Do you consider yourself to be an expert in any particular area? You can create a successful online business centered around anything which interests you.

Now that you've identified the focus of your online business, its time to put your passion to work for you by making it the focus of your new blog. You can do this absolutely free, and it takes only a matter of minutes to get it up and running when you utilize one of the many user-friendly blog hosting sites, such as WordPress.

2) Talk it Up

Share your passion with the world! Write about it on your blog. Post pictures and videos. The more you talk about your passion via posting quality content on your new blog, the more attention it will receive, and the better your position to start earning some serious money when we get to step 3. Here we go!

3) Turn Your Passion into $$$

This is the part where your online business starts to get really exciting-when you realize just how easy it is to turn your passion into cash through the simple Google advertising program, Adsense. You simply sign up through the website, and Google will begin matching you up with advertisers in your niche. You get paid simply for allowing these advertisers to place their ads on your site. The more traffic you generate, the more their ads are clicked on, and the more money you both make. Everybody wins!

It's soooo easy to make money with Google advertising! Once you've mastered these 3 simple steps, you can repeat the process with multiple topics which interest you, and you will be well on your way to financial freedom via your new online business!

How to Find the Message Header For a Yahoo Email Address

There are many reasons that you might want research an email message. Two of the most common reasons are to find out more the sender and try to stop spammers. Others might need to check up on their children's online activities. Still others might just be curious about the path that emails take to reach them. Whatever the reason, one of the easiest ways to find out more information about email addresses and their senders is to find and use the email headers. Email headers are, essentially, digital envelopes; they tell computers where messages came from and where they're going. By accessing this information, you can learn more information about mysterious messages.

If you're using Yahoo!, finding email headers is quick and simple. First, login to your account and open the message you'd like to learn more about. At the top right of the pane, you will see the word reply. Right next to reply, there's a downward pointing arrow. Clicking on this pops up a menu. Select "Show Original," and the headers will pop up in a separate window. Now that you know how to use Yahoo! to find email headers, all that's left is deciphering the header.

Deciphering email headers is easier said than done. Headers are meant to be read by computer, not humans, which means they're not in plain English. However, the information you need shouldn't be hard to find. Scan down the document and find the last (lowest) repeat of the phrase "Received: from"; this line should refer to the computer that originally sent the message. Just to the right of "Received: from", you should see an IP address (the ten or so digit number with periods). This is the Internet print of the computer that sent the message. With this traceable number, you might be able to find out more information about the sender of the message.

Of course, using email headers isn't the only way to do research about strange email messages. If you want to find the owner of a Yahoo! email address, you can also use a reverse email lookup. Reverse email lookups search for strange email addresses and provide the name of the owner, and sometimes even more information. So if you need to learn more about a strange email, you can use the Internet to assist in your search.

Anchor Text Backlinks Examined

When I first heard that there were approximately 14 billion websites on the internet I thought "I heard that wrong"; I thought "14 billion pages maybe but 14 billion sites! No WAY"! I took another look at it and sure enough, it said 14 BILLION sites... unreal!!!

The very next thought was "how does someone in the article marketing business get to the first page of Google with billions of competitors"? Article marketing is a powerful way to get traffic to a website and if done correctly, means getting massive exposure from thousands and thousands of people coming to your site looking for products, services and information.

Anchor Text Backlinks Serious "Link-Juice"

Getting to the first page of Google should be the goal for any serious internet business but getting to the first page may not be enough. The reality is that 80% of the clicks that occur on the first page of Google goes to the 1st, 2nd and 3rd spots on the page. The first spot alone receives about 56% of the clicks. So if you're ranking anywhere below the 3rd spot then just know that you're getting only a small fraction of the traffic that you could be getting.

The key to ranking in the most trafficked spots in the SERP's is to get more "anchor text backlinks" to your site then the other guy. I've heard it said that backlinks are like votes, if you get the most votes, YOU WIN! For those who are using article marketing as their main strategy to drive traffic to their site, they must get the most BACKLINKS!

Backlinks are the backbone in the competitive world of article marketing and if you're not focused on getting massive amounts of quality, anchor text backlinks, you are wasting your energy, effort and time. Period!

How The Pro's Do It

The first element is to write fresh, original content that people are searching for and will give value to the reader. A very successful article marketer personally advised me to make sure I had an intent and that I was solving problems with every article I published. If you peruse the editorial guidelines for submitting articles to the top article directories you'll find that they are very serious about maintaining a good reputation on the internet for providing quality content. No rehashed, duplicate or especially spun articles will be permitted!

The second element for a successfully reaching the top spots in the search engines is to submit your original content with an anchor text link, to the authority article directories. Once your article is approved it will be submitted and you will have successfully created quality anchor text backlinks to your web page. All you need to do at this point is to repeat the process again and again to reach higher in the search engine results page.

That may sound like a lot of work to be able to create a backlink but are you building a business or treating your business like a hobby? If you want to get the most traffic to your site then creating anchor text backlinks is vitally important to your article marketing efforts and the rewards will be in direct proportion to how many anchor text backlinks you can get to point back to your website.